She’s not cold hearted, she’s just tired of getting fucked over. - Anonymous (via sassyfag)

(Source: zaaaiinab, via i-pulledthetrigger)


kurainova:

pekourl:

hearing straight people talk about gay people without them knowing you’re gay is surreal. i feel like an undercover spy. they think i’m one of them

So fucking true.

(via unicornshirtdays)

-keepsmiling:

One time I heard my boyfriend had sex with another girl. So I called and asked him about it and he denied it, so I called the girl and she denied it too, and then I called my boyfriend back and told him that the girl had told me everything and he replied with “it was just one time. It meant nothing.” And then I replied with “fuck you, she didn’t tell me anything.” And that’s still my favorite story to tell.

(via i-opened-the-chamber-of-secrets)

do u ever start being friends with someone

and then u get to know them 

and its like

no wait 

i dont actually like you

can we stop this friendship thing we have going on

(Source: shewillbelubed, via fuckedup-frenchfry)

tuucker:

irisowl:

So I walked into the dentist this morning. My dentist asked me how my weekend was. I said “Good, I watched Captain America last night. I really liked it.” And my dentist says “Oh, my son is in that movie.” At first I thought he was joking but then I realized

Dr. Robert Evans

I looked it up

My dentist is Captain America’s dad

My doctor is JK Rowling’s husband.

JK Rowling’s husband has asked me if I am sexually active.

(via burntt-out)

thetomska:

thetomska:

pizzapenis6969:

Do you ever feel like dis?

Omg yes all the time.

Like seriously whenever I’m sunbathing with the girls I ALWAYS feel like there’s a pig sunbathing next to me like wtf who invited this pig?